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THE IDIOT INDEX

Today’s headlines tell the story. A shocking number of top leaders are behaving like idiots. Even if you’ve been spared the experience, you should know how to work with an idiot boss just in case. The Idiot Index was developed for just such a purpose. It also provides a short hand method of communicating to your colleagues who may be simultaneously dealing with the same idiot leaders as you are.

Level 1: Doesn't get it and probably never will

Idiots at this level think they ’re right. Rather than argue, withdraw and explore other ways of getting what you need. Come back later when you have new information. Perhaps the door will open a crack. If not, and the issue is critical, consider taking the issue to a higher level. In doing so, make sure you have documented support and be prepared to restate your position as if it were the first time.

Level 2: Might get it if there’s a personal benefit

These idiots are less receptive to “take it or leave it” choices. Provide them with a list of options so they can accept what you’re saying without admitting they’re wrong. Bring others with you who support your position or have each of them approach the idiot independently. Remember, your objective is to open a closed mind, not to change it. So, be patient and don’t give up.

Level 3: Seems to get it but it doesn’t stick

They don’t respond to fancy footwork, so keep it simple. These people are easily befuddled when overloaded and therefore cannot distinguish your brilliant deductions from buffalo droppings. Repeat the same pitch over and over again. Give them credit when they do get it, but don’t go overboard with praise. Provide regular follow-ups even when there are no issues, otherwise you’ll have to start over.

Level 4: Gets it only after being hit over the head

They’re not likely to accept your suggestion the first time out. Be prepared to give multiple presentations before seeing progress. You’ll know you’re getting through when the rebuttal shifts from, “Why should I?” to “How can I?” After that it’s a matter of providing ample documentation to show how it’s done. Use examples to show why what you’re suggesting is the right thing to do. Restate your conviction until the idiot finally gets it. You’re done now. The idea has a new owner, so let it go. 

Level 5: Gets it, but it took some time

Idiots at this level pretty much teach themselves and seldom make the same mistake twice. All you have to do is point out the consequences of their behavior and wait patiently. These folks need time to consider the pros and cons so make sure you present a balanced argument both for and against. Allow them ample time for self-discovery and experimentation. Persistence rather than persuasion will result in a much higher pay off. If you don ’t get the answer you want, let them know you’re not going away until you do.

Help! I’m Surrounded By Idiots: A Workplace Survival Guide, by Tom E. Jones